My Beautiful Experience

Carl Teal (intern/Teleion Mentee) with Miguel Quinteros (Teleion Mentor)

Carl Teal (intern/Teleion Mentee) with Miguel Quinteros (Teleion Mentor) appreciating his first paycheck

Carl Teal (intern/Teleion Mentee) reflects on his internship with United Job Creation Council (UJCC).

As an intern at UJCC I have learned and gained so much knowledge from being around such positive people…[this being]… the first job I have ever had to work…the people around me made it so easy and for that…[the experience]…will remain a captured moment forever. The best thing I enjoyed was getting together with…[other]…mentees and taking the time to have an understanding…[of]…them, …[this made me]…more thankful.

Welcome Back

20130501_145845Teleion Question:  Where Have You Been? What Are You Up To? What’s Your State of Mind Now?

Aha it’s been a long time hasn’t it? I bet you’re wondering what’s going on with me. Well let me tell you I’m great. I’m living my life. I’m almost where I need to be in my life. I’m going to school & I am an intern at United Job Creation Council. I’m a soon-to-be father. I still live the street life. But I observe & watch more. I’m not that person I used to be a couple of years ago. I have a photography business now. My best friend is now in Los Angeles.  I’m just enjoying life. I don’t have any worries but there’s always a grey side to my life. With all this good comes a lot of bad.

I’m ready to update you on a lot of stuff but now it’s going to be a little different. I have changed the way my stories will be told & I’m really looking forward to telling you all about it.

What’s my state of mind now? I’m more calm & in control of my emotions & life situations but that doesn’t mean my past or the person I used to be is completely gone. I apologize because I left y’all high & dry and I think it’s time that y’all re-entered my life because you guys were a real help to me.  I’ll leave you with this “If I Told You That A Rose Bloomed In A Dark Room Would You Trust It?” –Kendrick Lamar.

Topic for next week “Up All Night”, The Sudden Disappearance of Daquan Giles

 

Growth

Teleion Question of the Day: When you write the blog do you respond to Teleion’s questions logically or emotionally?

When I answer the blog it is in an emotional way because I use the blog to vent & express myself. Lately I’ve been evolving mentally. The more I evolve the more I see things I didn’t see before. On some of the blogs I write I’ve been asking myself why it isn’t feeling the same. I’m beginning to understand why it’s not bad that I’m starting to look at the world in a logical way. It is a blessing that I am using more logic because if I reacted in an emotional manner all the time I really don’t what would happen. I apologize for the wait but I’m walking a path of self discovery. I would really like if you would continue to follow me on this path, watch me grow into the man I know I can be & want to be in the future. Stay tuned & look out there’s more where this came from!

Until next time. . .

Help

Black&White

Teleion Question of the Day: Why does it seem like Black youth do not want to take advantage of Black adults who are trying to help them? –Dr. Joseph A. Bailey II MD, FACS  (www.jabaileymd.com)

It’s not as easy as it looks to ask someone you don’t know for help. I’ll begin by telling you why: It’s FEAR; fear of trusting someone who will probably let you down like everyone else in our lives. See for a person who is familiar with a life of failure & disappointment it’s very hard to try & trust someone who might help you & open your eyes to something greater. We judge y’all the same way the police system judges us. They say we will all die before age 21 or end up in prison. We say y’all have no idea what we go through & couldn’t give a damn about us so why should we accept your help. We give y’all a hard time & make y’all jump through hoops to prove that y’all care.

Gather around I have a story to tell to better explain my point. This story is called “Fighting for Air.” Devin and Troy have known each other since birth; they are step-brothers. Devin’s father was with Troy’s mother and his grandmother raised him because his mother left him at birth. Troy is the oldest of 4 brothers & was raised by a single mother. Troy was a gang member & screwed up in everyone’s eyes. Troy & Devin were total opposites. Deep down Troy was jealous of Devin because he wanted to be just like him. Devin was popular cool, played sports, every girl wanted to be with him & even the other brothers favored Devin. Troy believed he could never make anyone proud of him. To try to beat Devin at something, Troy decided to be better.

Devin believed that life was good because he never had to work too hard for anything, was well liked, and had everything he wanted because he played sports. One day a group of men came to the boy’s class to speak about mentoring. The students judged the men in suits by saying things such as “how can you help us when you don’t understand what we go through in these streets?” and “you guys don’t know our lives.” One of the Black men stood up & said, “don’t let these suits fool you. We were in your shoes once upon a time.” This one man told his story of how he was a drug dealer in high school & an ex-gang member. Troy became interested. When the man asked, “who would like to keep in touch with me?” Troy raised his hand. Everyone knew troy wasn’t going to stick with this. Troy had abandonment issues & it was very hard for him to trust a male figure.

Troy’s mentor called and called and Troy wouldn’t answer the phone. The mentor never gave up. Troy finally met with him asked his mentor, “why do you keep fighting for me when I’m not even fighting for myself.” The mentor said, “I believe you are worth it. I see the potential in you even if you don’t & it’s my job to pull it out of you.”

Troy & Devin were only in the 9th grade when all this was taking place. By the time the 12th grade came, Devin had a baby with a cheerleader he was in a relationship with in high school, dropped out of school to work a full time job & to take care of his family. Devin always wondered what would have happened if he would have stayed more focused in school & less focused on being popular. Now Devin wanted to be like Troy. Troy graduated second in his class & now goes to a university. Troy thanked his mentor for sticking around, being persistent, and taking an interest in his future. Troy’s mentor replied, “it was always in you, you just need someone to pull it out!”

See I wrote this story to give you an idea of why some youth don’t take advantage of what older black males have to offer. It’s not because we don’t want the help, we’re afraid of being let down by another male figure in our life. Look at it from our point of view, half of you all come to our school & classrooms in suits and ties; instantly, we don’t trust you because we believe you come from a background that’s nothing like ours & you wouldn’t understand. Actually you do understand & can help us with some of our everyday problems. It was brought to my attention that I have a very bad habit when it comes to people taking an interest in my future. I’m working on breaking that habit one day at a time. If it wasn’t for my support & the people who take an interest in me I honestly don’t know where I would be. My number one goal is to make sure my little brothers don’t fall into becoming a statistic. It won’t be easy & it will take some time but if I continue on my right path, I will accomplish that goal. So what I say to people my age & younger, if someone is trying to help you, listen to them because it is for your benefit. They are willing to open their world to you & are willing to open your eyes to new experiences that you wouldn’t normally be offered. Stand out & accept the help. It’s not cool to hold yourself back for your friends because if they were your friends they would encourage you to do better not worse. So until next time. . .

My Truth – Part 3

daquan_hat2

What is the truth? How do you get to know it? How do you know it when you hear it? What happens to you when you hear it? 

Tupac says in his song “Keep Ya Head Up:”

I give a holler to my sisters on welfare
Tupac cares, if don’t nobody else care
And uhh, I know they like to beat ya down a lot
When you come around the block brothas clown a lot
But please don’t cry, dry your eyes, never let up
Forgive but don’t forget, girl keep your head up
And when he tells you, you ain’t nuttin don’t believe him
And if he can’t learn to love you, you should leave him
Cause sista you don’t need him
And I ain’t tryin to gas ya up, I just call em how I see em
You know it makes me unhappy (what’s that)
When brothas make babies, and leave a young mother to be a pappy
And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it’s time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women
And if we don’t we’ll have a race of babies
That will hate the ladies, that make the babies
And since a man can’t make one
He has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one
So will the real men get up
I know you’re fed up ladies, but keep your head up
 

Aiyyo, I remember Marvin Gaye, used to sing to me
He had me feelin like black was tha thing to be
And suddenly tha ghetto didn’t seem so tough
And though we had it rough, we always had enough
I huffed and puffed about my curfew and broke the rules
Ran with the local crew, and had a smoke or two
And I realize momma really paid the price
She nearly gave her life, to raise me right
And all I had to give her was my pipe dream
Of how I’d rock the mic, and make it to tha bright screen
I’m tryin to make a dollar out of fifteen cents
It’s hard to be legit and still pay tha rent
And in the end it seems I’m headin for tha pen
I try and find my friends, but they’re blowin in the wind
Last night my buddy lost his whole family
It’s gonna take the man in me to conquer this insanity
It seems tha rain’ll never let up
I try to keep my head up, and still keep from gettin wet up
You know it’s funny when it rains it pours
They got money for wars, but can’t feed the poor
Say there ain’t no hope for the youth and the truth is
it ain’t no hope for tha future
And then they wonder why we crazy
I blame my mother, for turning my brother into a crack baby
We ain’t meant to survive, cause it’s a setup
And even though you’re fed up
Huh, ya got to keep your head up
 

To all the ladies havin babies on they own
I know it’s kinda rough and you’re feelin all alone
Daddy’s long gone and he left you by ya lonesome
Thank the Lord for my kids, even if nobody else want em
Cause I think we can make it, in fact, I’m sure
And if you fall, stand tall and comeback for more
Cause ain’t nuttin worse than when your son
wants to kno why his daddy don’t love him no mo’
You can’t complain you was dealt this
hell of a hand without a man, feelin helpless
Because there’s too many things for you to deal with
Dying inside, but outside you’re looking fearless
While tears, is rollin down your cheeks
Ya steady hopin things don’t all down this week
Cause if it did, you couldn’t take it, and don’t blame me
I was given this world I didn’t make it
And now my son’s getten older and older and cold
From havin the world on his shoulders
While the rich kids is drivin Benz
I’m still tryin to hold on to my survivin friends
And it’s crazy, it seems it’ll never let up, but
please… you got to keep your head up
 

In this song Tupac addresses multiple topics. For example, the ways men treat women & how some women have to raise a family on their own. Through all those situations he still gives us hope by saying keep your head up, the days will get better. By listening to this song you may think his life is hard; yes, it is but life also comes with good memories & life lessons.

Everyone in this world is still searching for the truth in their own way. It’s human nature to seek the truth about our self. The world will never find that inner peace until we as a nation know who we are & where we come from. I would like to thank Dr. Joseph A. Bailey (jabaileymd.com) for this question. It really opened up my view of the truth.